Saturday, March 06, 2004

Ramblings, probably not of the artistic kind....

I realize I haven't really posted much anything of true substance here. I am so used to keeping my politics to myself and am rarely comfortable discussing them outloud. Hell, half the time I do not even know how to classify myself ::chuckles:: I think I will keep the politics out for now. Right now, I'm focused on finding out what the hell is wrong with me and getting well. I have been sick for so long it's hard to think about anything else.

One thing is for certain, I will be glad to know it's not all "in my head". I'd almost convinced myself it was. After all, if the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, then nothing could be wrong could it? My gastro doctors, at least, have never made me feel that way. Probably because the see cases like mine all the time. Symptoms that tend to be very general in nature and could be indications of any number of diseases or disorders.

I have my upper endoscopy on Wednesday. Hopefully this will be the end and I will finally get some answers. I've been researching the disease the doctor thinks I have. I know it sounds strange to hear someone say they hope the doctor tells them they actually HAVE something wrong with them but, after three years, all I want is to know what's wrong with me and how to go about fixing it. This disease (celiac sprue or celiac disease) is not curable but it IS controllable with diet. It will be a difficult adjustment at first but, not impossible.

I just want to feel... human... again.

No comments: