Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
This is one of the funniest things...
I've seen in awhile. Sadly, however, I don't think we're too far from this wonderfully romantic scene.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Paramount cuts ties with Tom Cruise - Aug 23, 2006
CNN.com - Paramount cuts ties with Tom Cruise - Aug 23, 2006
I can't believe it. I don't mean this in a bad way, in fact I'm pretty happy to see it. People seem to think that because someone is 'famous' they can get away with certain behavior and that belief tends to be perpetuated by the lack of (visible) consequences for their actions. Negative actions should breed negative consequences. Nice to see for one famous person, they finally did.
I can't believe it. I don't mean this in a bad way, in fact I'm pretty happy to see it. People seem to think that because someone is 'famous' they can get away with certain behavior and that belief tends to be perpetuated by the lack of (visible) consequences for their actions. Negative actions should breed negative consequences. Nice to see for one famous person, they finally did.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Feline stealing gardening gloves of Pelham
This is one of the funnier news articles I have read in a long time. I'm so totally a cat person and this is just so endearing to me. Animal behavior is endlessly fascinating to me. Why do they do what they do? What are they thinking? In this case, why the fascination with gloves?
Sometimes I wish I could read the minds of our cats, especially my cat Chelsea. I've had Chelsea for ten years now. She's been my constant companion during those ten years and, at times, was the only friend I had the in the world. She loves my husband but I am her "person". Even when he's scritching her in that special spot behind her ears, if I walk into the room her eyes are on me. Though she's not a lap cat, if I'm feeling blue she'll curl up on the sofa next to me and press close to my side. When she wants company, she'll perch on the back of the couch behind my head. Sometimes at night, she sleeps pressed up against the small of my back. She has such a personality and I swear sometimes she makes faces at me when she's mad at me!
Our cats are funny and not a one of them are alike in personality. Chelsea is the house "mother". Maxine is our "Bucky" (from the Get Fuzzy comics) even if she's not siamese. I think of her as our little curmudgeon. O'possum is my husband's cat through and through. He's a little slow and dumb but we love him just the same. He got his name because, as a kitten, he looked like a little baby o'possum. Our ugly duckling who turned into a swan, he's become a gorgeous cat, colored like a snowshoe kitty. Tink, his sister, is our sitting pretty kitty. She's the most gorgeous shade of grey (mouse grey we think of it) with white on paws. She's very stand-offish unless she wants attention and then she's relentless in her persuit of a good ear scratching. My daughter also has two cats; Mama, a very noisy ('talky') siamese and Hades, a sleek black kitty who has more than earned his name.
Our kitty cup runneth over but, you know, I wouldn't have it any other way. My house is just not a home without at least one cat. I suppose, though, you could call us the crazy cat family.
Sometimes I wish I could read the minds of our cats, especially my cat Chelsea. I've had Chelsea for ten years now. She's been my constant companion during those ten years and, at times, was the only friend I had the in the world. She loves my husband but I am her "person". Even when he's scritching her in that special spot behind her ears, if I walk into the room her eyes are on me. Though she's not a lap cat, if I'm feeling blue she'll curl up on the sofa next to me and press close to my side. When she wants company, she'll perch on the back of the couch behind my head. Sometimes at night, she sleeps pressed up against the small of my back. She has such a personality and I swear sometimes she makes faces at me when she's mad at me!
Our cats are funny and not a one of them are alike in personality. Chelsea is the house "mother". Maxine is our "Bucky" (from the Get Fuzzy comics) even if she's not siamese. I think of her as our little curmudgeon. O'possum is my husband's cat through and through. He's a little slow and dumb but we love him just the same. He got his name because, as a kitten, he looked like a little baby o'possum. Our ugly duckling who turned into a swan, he's become a gorgeous cat, colored like a snowshoe kitty. Tink, his sister, is our sitting pretty kitty. She's the most gorgeous shade of grey (mouse grey we think of it) with white on paws. She's very stand-offish unless she wants attention and then she's relentless in her persuit of a good ear scratching. My daughter also has two cats; Mama, a very noisy ('talky') siamese and Hades, a sleek black kitty who has more than earned his name.
Our kitty cup runneth over but, you know, I wouldn't have it any other way. My house is just not a home without at least one cat. I suppose, though, you could call us the crazy cat family.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Awkward moments ... understatement
How would you like to be called to testify in this trial? Or be a juror? Or hell, just sit in the 'audience'? Awkward moments abound in penis pump trial
I suppose it does get boring sitting on the bench sometimes.
I suppose it does get boring sitting on the bench sometimes.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
They Fight Crime!
They Fight Crime!:
"He's a superhumanly strong coffee-fuelled cop on a search for his missing sister. She's a supernatural motormouth queen of the dead on the trail of a serial killer. They fight crime!"
This link amuses me greatly.
"He's a superhumanly strong coffee-fuelled cop on a search for his missing sister. She's a supernatural motormouth queen of the dead on the trail of a serial killer. They fight crime!"
This link amuses me greatly.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
I can't make this stuff up
Yahoo! News - Smoker Ignites Portable Toilet Explosion
Kind of figures they were from West Virginia....
Kind of figures they were from West Virginia....
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
International Eat an Animal for PETA Day
I first saw about this over in Kate's Blog aka The Original Musings. You know, I'm perfectly happy to respect the vegeterian "lifestyle". Hell, I made sure to have vegeterian dishes at my wedding so that people who did not eat meat for personal, health or religious reasons (we did have a couple folks from India at our wedding) did not feel like they could only graze on salad. Being a vegeterian is not for me but, like I said, I have no problem with folks who are so long as they aren't trying to "convert" me. That annoys me as much as someone trying to push their religion at me and, believe me, some of these folks are as zealous as any religious nut.
So what the hell is PETA up to that set off THAT particular rant, you might ask? PETA is now likening the eating of meat to the, now hold on to your hats here, HOLOCAUST. Uhm, excuse me? Ask any Holocaust survivor (or their families) how the slaughtering of animals compares to the Holocaust. I bet the overwhelming majority of them won't see the comparison. This is insanity at it's best. Hell, my husband is Jewish and we both had a good laugh over the whole thing.
For a more comprehensive look at this (laughable) act by PETA, scoot on over to The Orignal Musings. Me, I'm going to sit here and gnaw on this rib.. from a cow. I leave you with this.
So what the hell is PETA up to that set off THAT particular rant, you might ask? PETA is now likening the eating of meat to the, now hold on to your hats here, HOLOCAUST. Uhm, excuse me? Ask any Holocaust survivor (or their families) how the slaughtering of animals compares to the Holocaust. I bet the overwhelming majority of them won't see the comparison. This is insanity at it's best. Hell, my husband is Jewish and we both had a good laugh over the whole thing.
For a more comprehensive look at this (laughable) act by PETA, scoot on over to The Orignal Musings. Me, I'm going to sit here and gnaw on this rib.. from a cow. I leave you with this.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
People over 30 should be dead
Just an email gem :)
People over 30 should be dead. Here's why ............
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, ... and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.) As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors! We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgotthe brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. NO CELL PHONES!!!!! Unthinkable!
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them.
We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it. We made up games withsticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
And you're one of them! Congratulations! Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good !!!!!
People under 30 are WIMPS !
People over 30 should be dead. Here's why ............
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, ... and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.) As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors! We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgotthe brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. NO CELL PHONES!!!!! Unthinkable!
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them.
We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it. We made up games withsticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
And you're one of them! Congratulations! Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good !!!!!
People under 30 are WIMPS !
14 things it took 50 years to learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day:
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
And no, you don't have to forward this to anyone in order for your Life to take on new meaning...
(I love this one)
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day:
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
And no, you don't have to forward this to anyone in order for your Life to take on new meaning...
(I love this one)
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Friday, January 16, 2004
For whom the bell tolls....
Three young candidates for the priesthood are told by the Monsignor they have to pass one more test: The Celibacy Test. The Monsignor leads them into a room, and tells them to undress, and a small bell is tied to each man's penis.
In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly-dancer costume. She begins to dance sensually around the first candidate. Even before she has begun to remove her veils:
*Ting-a-ling* goes the little bell...
"Oh Patrick," says the Monsignor, "I am so disappointed in your complete lack of self-control. Go take a long, cold shower and pray about your carnal weakness."
As Patrick leaves, the dancer then continues, slowly dancing around the second candidate and peeling off her layers of veils. As the last veil drops:
*Ting-a-ling* goes the bell...
"Joseph, Joseph," sighs the Monsignor. "You too are unable to withstand your carnal desires. Go take a long, cold shower and pray for forgiveness"
The dancer then proceeds to dance her sensuous dance around the third candidate. Slowly around him she dances, now devoid of all of her veils, but the third candidate remains unmoved.
"James, my son, I am truly proud of you," says the Monsignor. "Only you have the true strength of character needed to become a great priest. Now, go and join your weaker brethren in the shower".
*Ting-a-ling*
In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly-dancer costume. She begins to dance sensually around the first candidate. Even before she has begun to remove her veils:
*Ting-a-ling* goes the little bell...
"Oh Patrick," says the Monsignor, "I am so disappointed in your complete lack of self-control. Go take a long, cold shower and pray about your carnal weakness."
As Patrick leaves, the dancer then continues, slowly dancing around the second candidate and peeling off her layers of veils. As the last veil drops:
*Ting-a-ling* goes the bell...
"Joseph, Joseph," sighs the Monsignor. "You too are unable to withstand your carnal desires. Go take a long, cold shower and pray for forgiveness"
The dancer then proceeds to dance her sensuous dance around the third candidate. Slowly around him she dances, now devoid of all of her veils, but the third candidate remains unmoved.
"James, my son, I am truly proud of you," says the Monsignor. "Only you have the true strength of character needed to become a great priest. Now, go and join your weaker brethren in the shower".
*Ting-a-ling*
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